Cry me a river
by holycrapezria
Summary: I can't lose you because if I ever did I have lost my best friend, my soulmate, my smiles, my laugh, my everything but I know in the end, everyone is going to leave. They always do -Aria Montgomery This story starts 2 years after Aria founds out about the book and tells Ezra to leave for good.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, thank you for reading my story! means a lot to me. I'd like to do a story where you guys can also decide what is going to happen.**

**Sorry for my english, I try my best but it is just not my native language...**

**hope you like it **

**xoxo**

**Chapter 1 After all we had, we act like we never met each other**

_"Do you know what that weekend is?"_

_"How could I forgot?" Aria stands up of the couch. "Today is the anniversary of Alison's death" She is walking across the room and opens the fright. The last thing she want is to think about her dead friend._

_"Or..." Ezra slowly gets up from the couch and walks to the counter. "I was about to start my teaching job and you thought, you might like to teach" He starts smiling at Aria. "Was that true or were you just hiding on me?"_

_Aria puts her glass down and smiles at him. "Did you really play B26 or were you just hiding on me?" Her smile grows when Ezra takes a smiling breath. _

_"Can we make this our anniversary." He takes a step closer to her "Instead of hers?"_

_Aria puts her hands around his neck and looks at him thoughtful._

"Aria, hey are you listening?" Spencer's hand waves in front of her face.

Aria blinks with her eyes and looks up at Spencer trying to remember what she just said "I'm so sorry, what did you say?"

Spencer tries to hide a sigh before she repeats her question "It is weird, right? Being back here, I mean" Spencer looks around. They were sitting in the very last corner of the Brew on a soft couch with a small wood table in front of it. Two large cups of coffee were standing on it, they seem just to fit perfectly in. Spencer eyes fly over the hole room. It seems like it didn't changed a bit since they met here the last time. Even the same kind of flowers where standing next to the stairs. Spencer eyes just stayed for a few seconds at the stairs. 2 years ago she spend most of her time in that Apartment and now it seems like she hardly can remember it, him...

Aria takes a sip of her coffee "Yeah, I still don't know what to think about it. But I definitely missed the coffee, you would think they have good coffee in California, right?" It was more than weird to come back. Especially at the 1st of september. It seems a little odd to Aria.

Spencer laughs. "That's probably the only thing I miss about that town". She looks down at her wrist and eyes her small silver watch. "It's already 12:23 where is Hanna?"

Arias eyes fly throw the room. "I don't know. Maybe her flight is a little late because of the snow storm? Emily is not even abel to come here until Tomorrow because of it."

Spencer looks at her sarcastically. "Aria, Hanna is coming from New York not Michigan." Her eyes start to light up. She missed it to correct her friends, to be the smart one. At the University of Philadelphia she always feels like average. Suddenly everyone around her was as smart as her.

"Mhhmm." Aria listens only to a half Spencer just told her. Her attention was at a tall, black haired man at the other side of the Brew. Her heart starts to race and her breath suddenly starts to get heavier. He wears a black yens with a white shirt. Aria feels like how the room is getting smaller and smaller around her and the air is getting thiner every second. She feels how her heart stops a heartbeat when he turns around. It wasn't him. She let her breath out and relaxed back in to the brown couch. Of course it wasn't him. Why would she even think for a second it would be him? He left a long time ago when she told him to.

Aria realizes that Spencer is eying her closely. But before Spencer even has the chance to say something both of them here a loud and exited "Heeeeey"

Aria grows a smile on her face when a very exited and familiar blond girl shows up in front of her and pulls her in a big hug.

"I'm sorry for being late but she really wanted to stop at the shopping mall before we came here. I tried everything, but you know Hanna." A really good looking Caleb smirks at them and put his hands into his pockets.

"hey!" She punches him playfully on his shoulder. "There was this 50% sale, I mean I REALLY couldn't just drive by and you guys will love the dress I found. It's a classic red one with an incredible cut. And I payed a really good price for it and..."

"Hanna!" Spencer laughs and pulls her into a hug. "It's alright, I missed you"

"Aww, I missed you too. I can't believe we actually made it happen. We are all here, at the same time." She looks accusing at Aria.

Aria tries to force a smile. "I just had a lot of stuff.."

"on your mind.." Hanna finishes her sentence. "I know. But I also know this 'stuff' is called Ezra!" She roles her eyes.

"Hanna!" Spencer gives her an warning look.

"What?" Hanna really looks confused. Not sure what she said wrong.

"It's alright, Spenc!" Aria puts her head into her hands. "She is right. But I moved on you know." She lifts her head and smiles at them. It was a real smile. Hanna was right. Aria couldn't bring her self to come back to Rosewood. She was to scared. Going back to the City where all started and all ended. All the lies, the deaths and A. Aria was more than happy to leave Rosewood behind. Starting a new life in California. Going to Collage and find new friends. She doesn't have to be scared anymore that someone follows her and most important she could fall in love again.

Hanna smiles and give Spencer an I told you so look. But her face turns fast into a grimace of pain. Spencer smirks at her, when she lifts her food up from Hannas.

"Spiking of Ezr..." Hanna stops in the middle of her sentence when she sees Spencer's face. Even Aria doesn't look like it bothers her at all she tries to find a other way to ask her question. "What I actually tried to say was, my mom told me your mom told her.. Isn't that crazy? How did it happen that our Parents talk more to each other than we do?" She sweeps one of her blonde strand of hair behind her left ear. "Oh I'm sorry" She mutters when she looks in a very amused face of Aria.

"So what did your mom tell you, which my mom told her, which I told her?" Aria has a big smile on her face and her eyes are shining. She missed it so much talking to them.

"Well, she told me you started singing and you gave up on writing?" Hanna looks concerned. She knows that writing was always Aria's favorite thing. "I never even understand why you liked it anyway. To many words if you ask me..."

Aria laughs "That's not true. Okay it's not wrong either I guess."

"Can we stop here for a minute?" Spencer takes a sip from her coffee "Now even I'm confused" She puts her brown cup down at the table and sets up straight.

"I never thought I would here these word ever from a Spencer Hastings" Caleb plays with Hanna's hands and smiles amused.

Spencer rolls her eyes at him. "In Rosewood is nothing impossible, as you clearly remember. However, Aria?"

"I guess I just realized writing isn't enough for me anymore. It didn't feel right. I stopped it for a while, but I missed it. One night we were all sitting together in my tiny dorm room. We were so bored!" Aria almost has to laugh when she thought bag to that night. It was raining so hard you barely couldn't even see your own hands. They were all running throw the rain after class but when they reached the dorms, all of them were night till the bones. Arias room mate Elizabeth decided that all of them meet up in her room. 15 people sitting in a little room. " We were talking and suddenly Liam pulled Elizabeths guitar out. We were singing all day until we didn't had any more songs we knew. Liam just played some melody and before I realized what I was doing I started just to sing to it. This was the moment I realized how much it helps me. It is still like writing, just with a melody." Aria looks up at them with an embarrass expression on her face.

There are a few seconds of silence and aria feels how her cheeks are getting warm and red.

"I'm really glad you found something that makes you feel good" Spencer smiles softly.

"ähh duh! And I hope I get one of your songs to hear. I bet you got one of me." Hanna's eyes shining while she is playing with her coffee cup.

"What makes you think that?" Aria giggles. Not telling her, that she actually wrote a song about her.

"Why not? That's the better question."

"Well, I guess we have to wait a little longer to hear it anyway." Spencer smiles at the 2 laughing girls next to her. She can't remember how long it has been since they could just be happy.

"What? No? Why?!" Hanna stops laughing. Spencer holds up her right wrist in front of Hanna's face. Hanna takes a look at Spencer's silver watch and shoots up from the couch.

"It is already that late? My mom is going to kill me... Urrrgh" Hanna sighs and search for her handbag. "I'll see you guys tonight at the grill?!" It sounds more like a order than a question.

"Yes ma'am." Aria and Spencer answer at the same time and start to laugh.

"Great!" She pulls a black handbag with a golden zipper under the couch out.

"Hanna, you were here for 10 minutes. How did you make it possible to bring your handbag under the couch?" Spencer asks sarcastically.

"I just do!" Hanna smiles and puts her hand into Caleb's. "It was good to see you, Ladies." He smiles at them before Hanna gives both of the girls a tight hug and they rush out of the Brew.

"And you really don't wanna come with me? My parents don't mind" Spencer takes the last sip of her coffee and stands up of the couch.

"No, its alright." Aria smiles. "Really, I promised my parents to go to the house anyway even if they aren't there. Just to look if everything is alright." She goes on when Spencer doesn't seem really convinced.

Okay, if you say so!" Spencer pulls her in a tight hug. "But you know where to find me." She stapes backwards in eyes her closely.

"Yes I do, thank you. And now go! Your Mom is waiting for you!" Aria holds her at the solders and turns her to the door.

"Fine, I'll go!" She hugs her another time and Aria watches her disappear behind the door.

Aria's eyes keep staring at the door. She wasn't quit sure what do next. She puts her right hand into her Jeans pocket and search for her phone. When she pressed the on button and the screen starts to light up, she starts to smile when she reads a message from Liam.

**"Hey Love,**

**I hope you had a safe trip?**

**Don't rush to text me back, I bet you have a lot to deal with right now.**

**Just let me know how you are when ever you have time.**

**Okay, don't take to long. After 48 hours I'm gonna go and call the police ;)**

**I hope you have a great time so far! I love you."**

Arias smile grows with every word she reads.

**"I got here safe. I hope you're alright?**

**Don't Party to much ;)**

**I miss you and love you"**

After she texted him back she looks at the time. It is only a few minutes after 1 pm. She walks out of the door, not sure where to go. For a few seconds she thought about going to her car and driving home but she turns around and walks in the other direction. Aria is pretty sure there is no food at all at home and next to Homeland was a really good book store. She definitely need a new book for her flight back home.

Homeland was just one block away and she found all she needs really fast. Apples, broccoli, cereal, bread, a tomato soup, pasta and most important Nutella. When she walks out of Homeland the wind starts to blow a lot. She runs down the sidewalk and opens the door of the bookshop quickly. The smell of new books fly's throw the room. Aria takes a deep breath and smiles before she walks deeper into the shop. Her eyes fly quickly over all the different books. She finally decides to walks into the english novel department. She scans one book after one, her fingers stroke carefully over the bag of several books. Her hand stays at a black book. At the back of the book was in black letter written "If I stay". She pulls it out and stars at it for several minutes.

"If you like emotional books you should definitely read it!" Aria suddenly holds her breath. This voice was familiar, to familiar. She feels how her hands and feeds start to shake. She hears the book fall and see him going down to pick it up. Does he not realize who she is?

"Are you alright?" He holds the book politely in front of him and waits for her to take it. But she doesn't.

Arias mouth feels try and even as hard she tries, she can't bring her head up. _What is he doing here? And why am I feeling so stupid. I moved on_. Yes I moved on and maybe this is my time to show it. To him and myself. Aria closes her eyes for a second before she looks up at him. This time he is the one who let the book fall.

"Aria?" Ezra's mouth stays open. He looks at her up and down. It is clearly her but she looks different. Her clothes changed. Not a lot but as much to realize. It seems like she dresses a little more neutral. Her face lost most of the Teen look and she cut her hair shoulder long. She has a smile on her face but it seems cold.

"Ezra." Aria's voice was cold and emotionless.

"What are you doing here?" Ezra feels her distance and it kills him.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you this question?" She goes down and picks up the book.

Ezra is speechless. He always wondered how it would be to see her again. He thought she would scream at him or cry. Or maybe she would act like he wouldn't exist. But this is much worse. She is here, but some how she is not.

"Look, Aria I know I promised you I will go for good."

"And after all you are standing in front of me right now" Aria interrupts him.

Ezra try's to make eye contact but Aria seems to watch through him "I'm sorry, I wouldn't have come back if ..."

"It doesn't matter Ezra, I don't know how we got into this mess. Or what I did to deserve it. Or maybe after all that happened with Jenna and Mona.. maybe I did deserve it."

"No you didn't!" The last thing Ezra wants is to think she deserves it but Aria just ignored it.

"But do you know what is the worst? You didn't even try to fight for me. Not even one word after all." The first time since they start to talk she looks him into the eyes.

"You told me I have to go, I did what you told me to!" Ezra takes a step closer to her but Aria takes two steps back wards.

"And you really thought thats what I wanted? Sometimes, I became so weak. I broke down and I wanted to talk to you but I stopped myself. Because you have never tried to reach out to me. And finally even the smallest part in my heart realized that everything we had was only for your book. There was a moment I actually thought you wrote the book but you loved me anyway. But you didn't! You never did, this break up didn't affected you a little bit... you just never cared at all in the first place. My eyes are open now.. and I can see everything so clearly. You were never the person I thought you to be. But thats okay, I lost you, but I found myself and somehow that is everything... After all we had, we can act now like we never met each other."

Aria breaks the eye contact and puts the book away. She turns around, not giving Ezra any chance to have the last word and walks away

**(I'm so thankful for reading it! I would love if you would write in the comments how you would love to continue.. what kind of scene?**

**I don't know yet where I'm going with that story and I'm not even sure If its going to be a happy end. :D)**


	2. Chapter 2

**First I wanna say thank you for all your lovely reviews and for the follows and favs! It may doesn't seem a lot for other people but it sure is a lot for me :)! I try to update as fast as possible but I can't promise anything. Thats also the reason why this one is so short. I just thought you deserve it!**

**Chapter 2 At night, Im a little more open minded **

Arias hands are still shaking when she opens the door and stapes in to the Grill. She turns her head to the right and the left, searching for a dinner table for 4. Her eyes fixing the long table in front of the window. The last time she was sitting there, she barely remember. It was a cold day. She was sitting at the Table, starring out at the window...Staring at Ezra. He was smiling while he talked at the phone. Aria remembers how she had to smile when she saw him happy. But at the same time she felt worser than ever. She knew, she had to break up with him. As much as she loved him, there was no way this relationship would hold with Malcome in the picture. Someone is going to be hurt and if she can choose, she rater want it to be her...

Aria sights and chooses to sit at the table close to the one at the window . Aria was pretty early. After she went back to her old home, she was going crazy in her mind. The first few minutes after she left the book shop, she felt relieved. She knew that talking to Ezra, telling him truly how she feels -Well not the hole truth, but it's not like he deserves the hole truth- is her last step to finally move on for good. Now she can leave this town after this week, with any regrets.

But only 20 minutes after that her stomach feeling changed. It wasn't relive anymore. She was sitting in her car, trying to concentrate but she couldn't! Her thought always went back to Ezra. Why did he came back? Did he came here to search for her? Or maybe just for a job? This thought feels like someone punched her in the middle of her stomach. Why didn't she gave him time to explain it? And why the hell did he look so attractive. He looked better than ever. She always thought if she ever gonna see him again he would look worse. Not unattractive, just not like he did before. She pictured him always with a broken smile and sad eyes. The way he looked when she was dating Jake... But his eyes are shining and his smile is brighter than ever.

After she was running up and down the stairs, not sure what to do or to think she decided it would not make a difference if she already goes to the grill or not. She toked her keys from the desk next to the door and stepped out of the door. Her breath was still heavier than normally and she felt much safer when she felt the soft leather seat of her car. Without really thinking what she is doing, she turns the keys around and started the car. Aria didn't realize the houses and trees she left behind. She didn't even realize where she was driving. But the streets felt so familiar. she didn't even thought about question it. It felt like the Car found the way by its own. Her eyes are wide open when she realized where she was. She stopped the car and looked at the big house in front of her. For just one moment she considered to walk straight to the door. Walk up all the 3 stairs, going right and stopping at the brown door with the number 3 and the letter B on it. "3B" how often was she standing in front of this Apartment door. Sometimes happy, sad or disappointed.

A laud honk brings Aria back to reality. She had to blink to times before she realized where she was. She was standing in the middle of the road. A red Kia with an angry looking girl in it. Aria looked to the left and to the right. She was right in the middle of her car and Ezra's apartment. Another honk made Aria turn around and walk back to her car. She realized people staring at her put she just walked by. When she reached her car, she hits the on button of her radio angrily. Aria felt so stupid! He probably doesn't even live there anymore.

"Can I bring you anything yet?"  
>"Hmmm?" Aria looks up, in a smiling face of a waitress.<br>"Do you want to order yet?" She repeated her question and Aria realized that she definitely have to start to listen again.  
>"Oh no thank you" Aria shakes her head a little and her hair is falling in to her face. She waves it out of here face and smiles at the waitress's "I'm waiting for 2 friends, I'm just a little early"<br>The waitress smiles knowingly and walks to the next table.

Aria turns her head around to look at the clock over the door. It showed 6:30. Aria still has half an hour left before the other girls are going to show up. She wipes back and forth at her chair, not sure what to do. Finally, she pulls her phone out and dials a number she could say in her sleep.  
>She gets nervous when the phone starts ringing and ringing and no one answered. The moment she decided to stop the call the ringing stops and laud music fills the silence. It takes some minutes until the music went quit and he answers.<p>

"Hey, don't get me wrong but I didn't thought I will hear from you that quickly" he giggles but there is also concern in his voice.

"Maybe I just miss your voice"

"Oooor you are missing my incredible sexy body" his tone was neutral now.

Aria laughs. "Okay, okay you got me"  
>Liam joins her laugh.<p>

"If I wouldn't know you better, I would believe you but we both know you are the last person who cares about the body of a boy" his voice was soft. One thing Aria loves so much about Liam is the fact he always know when something is wrong with her. But right now she wish he wouldn't.

"It's just..." Aria starts, not sure how to tell him. "I just hoped it would have more changed since the last time I was here."

"The world doesn't change without a good reason. And as much as you won't it to, it won't. Unless there is a reason"

"Did you just listen to what you just said?" Aria laughs again

"Yes I did! And I meant it. Think about it, it will make sense, eventually." Aria can picture his smile in her mind.

Aria is silent for a moment  
>"I thought about it and I think you are going to be sergeant and not a physiological doctor AND I think you are drunk"<p>

Liam laughs " Yes I will and yes I am but that doesn't change a single thing"

"You probably won't even remember this talk tomorrow, so I won't fight you on that. Where are you right now anyway?"

There was another silence for a moment. "Liam, where are you?" Now Aria is getting concerned. Liam isn't someone who just lost words.

"Don't get mad" he says softly. "We went to Jessica's birthday party"

Of course he was! After the day she already had this has to come too! But she won't think about it, not now.

"I really didn't want to go. But you know Steve, there was no chance I could say no." he continues unsure.

Of course there was a chance to get out of it! There always is a chance. Aria sights. "I'm not mad at you..."

"You are not?" His voice sounded surprised

"No I'm not. But just... don't do anything stupid. Have fun" Aria didn't wait for an answer or more excuses and pushed the red button on her phone. After all that happened, this is the last thing she has to think about. Aria trusts Liam more than anyone else he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. But it still stays in the back of her head

"Was your mom happy to see you? Aria is playing with her fork. She is trying to figure out if she should tell them about Ezra or not.

"I think she was happier to see Caleb than me" Hanna laughs and puts fries in her mouth. "They got really close" she smiles happily.

" I bet, after all they been thr.."  
>"Okay, Aria." Spencer interrupts her. "I don't want to be rude but your phone is buzzing constantly, I think someone really needs to reach you." She looks curious at her phone.<p>

"Hanna" Aria says a little angry when she leans over the table and takes her phone. Hanna's eyebrows went high when she looks at the phone.  
>"12 missed calls from Liam." Hanna says surprisingly. "Do you guys fight? is that why you are so absent the hole night?"<p>

Aria looks at her surprisingly. She thought, she did a really good job to hide her chaos and payed enough attention.

"We are waiting?" Spencer says with an accusing tone.

Aria must have thought about it longer than she thought. "No we're not." Thats the truth. "He is just drunk"  
>Spencer is eying her for a moment. Aria can see how she betels with herself if she just let it go or question it.<p>

"Are you gonna write a song about it now?"  
>Aria and Spencer break out into laughers.<br>"What?" Hanna says confused. Which made them laugh only more. Hanna seems slightly annoyed.

"But seriously when are we going to hear a song from you?" Spencer's eyes lighting up excitedly. Aria swallows on her lasagne.

"You didn't thought we gonna let switch out of that?"

Aria holds politly her white napkin in front of her mouth while she coughs. "I hoped so, though." She finally answered Spencer when she didn't had to cough anymore. Hanna's blue eyes lightning suddenly up. "I have the perfect time for you to sing!" She craps after her handbag, hanging on her chair and fishing a white flyer out of it. Aria bows closer over the table to get a better few. "My Mom helps at the new charity ball on Saturday night, it's gonna be that huge ball, with beautiful dresses and everything you could wish for." Spencer looks amused to Aria. Aria giggles and watches Hanna's exited gestures. "And there is going to be a stage where you can sing, everyone who wants to! That would be perfect for you!" Hanna's smile is over her hole face

"I don't know, Hanna" Aria leans back in her chair and fixes her eyes at the flyer.

"Give me one good reason why it is not a good Idea!" Hanna takes a sip of her water and looks pretty satisfied with herself. Aria runs her hand trough her hair and tries hardly to find a good reason for it. Hanna's smile grows when she realizes, Aria doesn't have a answer for her.

"Maybe, because the last few balls we went to ended every time in a big mess?" Spencer answers thoughtless instead of Aria.

"SPENCER! You are suppose to be on my side!" Hanna looks at her accusing and craps the cookie from her plate. "That's mine, go buy you your own" Spencer laughs and tries to get the cookie back. "Someone like you dosen't deserve such a good chocolate chip cookie." But at the same time Hanna is saying it, she let her arm slowly down. Staring at the door with her mouth withe open and her eyes small. Her hall face was covered with confusion and concern.

Aria is sitting with the back to the door, over candles and glasses she is watching how Hanna's face is completely changing from confusen to shocked and finally angry. Next to Hanna, Spencer let her fork fall to the ground. Without any idea what is happening she is turning around, facing the door. Her hazel brown eyes meet his blue eyes. He has both of his hands in his black jacket pockets. He is standing in the middle of the room, his eyes staring only at Aria. She can see how he is fighting with his self, not sure if he should come over to them or not.

"What is he doing back in Rosewood?" Aria brakes the eye contact with Ezra and faces Spencer. She has to fight a lot with herself, not to look back at him. "I met him today at the book store" The words came out of her mouth before she even realized what they mean.

"What? Why didn't you tell us?" Spencer looks at her shocked.

"I'm telling you now and besides I made really clear he doesn't exist in my world anymore." Aria tries to have an apologize tone.

Spencer races her eyebrows and smiles bitterly. "Well, seems like you didn't made it clear enough."

"Huh? What do you..."

"Aria?" His voice seems to bring everyone into silence. Aria feels how her skin starts to prickle when she hears him say her name so clear and soft. Aria opens her mouth but close it suddenly when he shakes his head and waves his right hand hand to tell her to be quiet.

He smiles sadly when he looks at her. "This time it is my time to speak" he runs his hand nervously through his hair. "Look, I know you don't wanna hear anything of this"

"You are right, I don't!" Aria craps after her napkin to play with. She looks to the left and to the right, not sure where she should look as long she doesn't have to look into his blue eyes. She decides to fix her eyes at his tie.

"just because I didn't fight for you doesn't mean that I've forgotten or gave up on you, It doesn't mean that I no longer care. Truth is, I still do. I wish I wouldn't. Because it hurts and I know it is all my fallt but it hurts so much! I did, no I still do my best to check up on you,to see how you are doing. To see if you are okay, but every time I get the urge to talk to you, it suddenly hits me, that we're strangers, you don't want me in your life, and I understand you! And that's the reason why I'm no longer a part of you. But, even though everything's changed: I just want you to know that, I'm still here. I'll still be here for you. I'll still lend you my shoulders and my ears. I don't care what time it is. Although I know you don't need me for any of this. I just wish you were talking to me. I just really miss your presence, I just miss you in general."

Aria watches him turn around, walking away. Before she realize what is going on, she is jumping up from her chair and craps for her handbag.

"Aria, what are you doing?" Spencer jumps up and takes her arm.

"I.. I can't just let him go, after this. I need to talk to him." Aria tries to get free from Spencer but she holds her to tight.

"You need to talk to him? Did you forget what he did to you." Spencer's voice was shocked.

"No I didn't! But didn't you hear what he just told me." She pulls at her arm but it doesn't move. Aria looks hopeful to Hanna but she was just sitting there, with an open mouth, shaking her head slowly from one side to the other.

"Yes I did. But how do you know it is not just another game." Spencer craps after her other hand and force her to look at her.

"The games are long over Spencer, just let go of me, please" Aria fights hard with herself, not to start crying.

"Look Aria" Hanna finally starts. "Maybe you should over think this, it's already pretty late.."

"What does it matter what time it is." Aria barks at her.

"I just think it's a little like the ghost theory."

Aria stops to fight against Spencer and looks at her. "The what?!" She wasn't quit sure if she heard right.

"What I'm trying to say is.." Hanna stops for a second to find the right words. "During the day, I don't believe in ghosts but at night, I'm a little more open-minded."

Aria looks at her, smiling.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Hanna is right. You should wait until tomorrow. We all thinking much clearer at day time than night time..."

Hanna looks a little pissed "Thank you.."

**I would be happy If I get reviews. You can also tell me if you want that Aria is talking to ezra this night or listen to spencer and hanna? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I ****can't describe how thankful I'm for all you lovely responds and follows + favs. This makes me so happy!**

**In this chapter are some points I'm not happy with how I wrote it, but as more I tried, as more worse did it get :0**

**I hope you like it, Im always happy over reviews. **

**Chapter 3 "I finally understood why storms are named after people"**

Ezra's POV

Ezra shuts the door behind him. He looks into the darkness and wish he could just stand there for a minute to take a breath but he knows Aria is watching. He forces his self to take a step and another step. He feels how the cold is coming throw his jacket and pulls his hands deep into his pockets. He watches all the people going by, laughing and smiling. Some are looking thought full but no one looks sad or miserable, like he does. He never expected to see her... to see her so soon. Maybe in 10 years when both of them are older, both of them moved on and they could talk about it without emotions. But not yet, not when he still can see the pain in her eyes every time he speaks.  
>For a moment he is thinking about going back. Trying to explain everything. But he did that 2 years ago and she doesn't want to hear from him again. Maybe he should have fight for her but at that point it seemed better for her. She deserves to be with someone who treats her right. Without complications. He turns around and looks back. Ezra feels the sadness cover his face.<br>For just a second he thought he reached her. When her eyes met his, when she listened to his words and when her expression changed. Her eyes went deeper, thoughtfully.  
>For a moment he thought she would follow him, she would run out of the brew. Calling his name and running in to his arm. He would pick her up, spin her around and kiss her. The same he did 3 years ago when he left Rosewood high to teach at the Hollis collage. But now it hurts him much more, standing alone in the middle of the passenger side. He looks one more time at the grill before he turns back around and starts walking the street along. He had to smile bitterly when he realizes how he must look right now. Walking alone the sidewalk along in the dark. His shadow follows him every step. From one light to the next. It was odd, how he was passing the dark shop windows, reflecting his miserable self. His shoulders were sunk down and his face looks like he is going to be sick. He just looks like one of the main characters he always likes to read about. The only thing left was the sad background music. If he thinks about it, it seems more like a black and white movie than a book.<p>

"Ezra?" Her voice is bringing him back to reality. He has to think for a second before he realizes he was still standing in front of the shop window. How long was he standing here? Did she follow him? Or were they finished with their dinner.

"Ezra?" The familiar voice calls him again, not sure if he had heard her.

"Spencer" He finally manage to answers. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner." He tries to sound as apologizing as possible. But the truth was, he wasn't. After he talked to Aria in the bookstore, or better after she talked to him, he wasn't sure if she really was there, back in Rosewood. But as soon as he opened the door of the grill his eyes find her. She was sitting at the table, with a nervous but soft smile on her face. Until her smile faded and confusion covered her face while she was watching Spencer and Hanna. Which he didn't realized until then. For jus a second he thought about just passing by, playing like he doesn't know her but this was maybe his last chance to talk to her. He has no idea how long she'll stays. His heart maid the decision before his brain did and he was walking straight to her table. Telling her the words he had in his mind since 1 1/2 years.

"Actually" Spencer starts slowly and throws her brown long hair with one hand wave behind her ears. "you didn't. We were about to leave anyway" Her voice was neutral. There was no anger in it but it wasn't friendly either. Not that he expected it, but he always thought he had the best relationship to Spencer, of all the friends Aria had. Spencer was someone he could easy talk to. She was smart and always tells the truth. She wasn't someone talking behind the back of another person.

"Although the subject changed after you left." She goes on and eyes him closely. But he could swear, for just a moment he saw a smile lightning up at her face.

"What brings you here?" He finally asks, not sure what to think about all of this.

Spencer balances back and forth on her tip toes, he can see how she tries to find the right words.

"Look, these girls are the most important people in my life. Each of us would die for the others. We have been through things in 3 years other people don't go through in their hole life."

"I know." Normal people don't come even close to the things they have been through.  
>Spencer glares at him and he realizes she doesn't want him to interrupt. He looks at her apologizing but she doesn't seem to recognize it.<p>

"Aria is probably going to kill me after I tell you this but I think you should know." She bites on her lips and looks at the ground before she continues to speak. "After all of us went on to collage, Aria still had the hardest part even in Ca. .." Spencer stops abruptly. Ezra sees how she bites her tongue. "even in Collage to move on. " Ezra was quite sure this wasn't what she wanted to say but he decides to play like he didn't realized it and let her go on. "She doesn't speak, ate or went out. She blocked herself off from the world. She doesn't want to find new friends, she even gave up writing..."

"She did what?!" Ezra gasps. This was the last thing he thought he would ever hear. Writing was a part from Aria. She always loved it the most.

"Yeah" Spencer nods and shifts uncomfortable with her body. "Buts he started again, sort of." She grumbles.

"Sort of?" Ezra raises his eyebrows, not sure where this talk is going. First he thought she would fight with him. Tell him what an Idiot he is. But it seems like Spencer is still the smart one. The one who thinks every single step through.

Ezra watches her, how she starts thinking. There is silence for a moment before she gives him an answer.

"That's a different story, you have to ask her about this by yourself" Ezra relaxes. Does this mean she doesn't want him to stay away from Aria? He was pretty sure she was coming to tell him exactly this. To leave Rosewood again and let her go, like he promised the first time. Ezra listens closely to her next words.

"She didn't start writing again until she met Liam." She stops for a moment. Her eyes focus on his. Telling him exactly what he thought. Suddenly his hole body is getting hot, his heart feels like it is on fire. He looks left, right,up and down. Just to find his eyes back in hers. His hand runs throw his hair. His stomach flatters and for one second he considers to sit down. But instead he brings hisself to straight up in front of her, waiting to hear the rest of it.

"Liam helped her to look different into the world. He showed her all the reasons why life is worth it and finally she came back to earth. It took long." She sighs "But Liam was a really good friend to her." A really good friend, Ezra repeats in his head. Does this mean he was wrong?

"It took a while but finally she moves on. Liam makes her happy. He is the first person she finally trusts again, but she changes. Everyday a little more. She gets colder and I'm scared she wants to move on, really move on."

Ezra wides his eyes in confusion. "Isn't that what all of you want."

"We want to move on, yes." Spencer replays harshly. "But we don't want to move on totally. She wants to forget about Rosewood and all the people connected to it, including us."

"Spencer, we both know this isn't true! Aria wouldn't let you down, no matter what happens." Ezra answers her surprisingly. Spencer knows as good as him that her friends are everything to Aria.

"I thought that too. Until I got a call from Liam, telling me Aria is only coming back to see all of us the last time. To say goodbye" Ezra clearly hears the change in her voice. It sounds hurt.

"But why would she do that? This makes no sense at all!" His voice is louder than he expected it to be.

"Because we remind her..." She brakes up and clears at him. She sighs. "we remind her of you. She wants to move on Ezra, with Liam. And she feels like she can't truly move on as long you are still in the back of her mind." She finally ends.

Ezra couldn't force hisself to say something. He was speechless. Spencer nods knowingly at his speechlessness. After all he did, she still was thinking of him. "I should probably go now. I just thought you should know. Goodbye Ezra." She whispers. Ezra follows Spencer with his eyes. She turns around and looks for her car. She walks back to the grill, turning to her right to disappear behind the next corner. Just before she disappears behind the corner next to the bakery he calls her back.

"Does she love him?" Ezra doesn't want to hear the answer. But he has to know. He has to know if there is just one last chance for them.

Spencer turns half around and smiles sadly at him. "Loving someone with your heart and loving someone with your mind are two different things." Than she finally disappears behind the corner.

Ezra was standing there, staring at the sailing of the bakery. "Yes, it's different..."

* * *

><p>Ezra looks up at his desk, he lifts all his books fishing for the white papers he was looking for. "I know you guys won't like it, but we are at that kind of point we have to work at your grammar." He sighs happily when his eyes finally meet the wait papers. When he looks up, he looks into 27 unhappy faces. Every year when he starts talking about grammar its the same reaction. It amuses him every time. He faces his back to the students and starts writing all the pronouns down at the board. It's probably the best thing to start with something easy.<p>

"That should be it, does anyone have questions? He looks over the class but no one seems to need help. "Good, please open your books at page 143 and try to do number 1 and 2. If you need help let me know. What you can't finish in class will be homework." Ezra hears some depressed sighs from the students but it doesn't bother him anymore. He already knows they don't like the grammar part.

10 minutes later the first hand rices in to the air. "Mr Young, how can I help you?" A blond boy next to the window looks depressed at him. "At number one it says we should look for the purpose of the story. But if you ask me, there is no specific purpose at all." He looks back at his book, trying to figure out what he missed.

"I know it can be a little confusing at the beginning but if you look close and you read the info to the story and the author it will become pretty clear. Did you used the triangle method yet?" When he shakes his head, Ezra walks back behind his desk and faces the board. He draws a big Triangel in the middle of the board and puts at the top of it "Speaker?" When he is about to write "Who is audience?" he stops in the middle of the sentence. Ezra lifts his head to the door when he sees a small figure with shoulder long brown hair out of the corner of his blue eyes. She doesn't stop when she rushes by his door. He feels pathetic for feeling sad about it. Even if she doesn't know he is teaching here again, he thought Aria would be that kind of person who would stand in front of the door, with wide open eyes staring in to the room and think back to all the things that happened in here. The good things and the bad things. And when she turns around to walk on she would have a smile on her face. Instead she doesn't even look at the door, it seems like the room never existed and with it the memories. But after what Spencer told him, he knows Aria probably want to be out of this school as fast as possible. His eyes wander up at the door and stop at the Clock. 20 more minutes until this class will be over. He turns around frustrated and ttys to concentrate on what he just did. But Aria always find his way back in to his mind. Why was she even here?

When the bell finally he rings, he had in mind to jump up from his chair and chaise the halls for her like a teenager. But instead he leans back in his chair and takes a sip from his coffee. His face changes to a grimace and he puts the coffee cup back to the desk.

After the taste of old and lack coffee still wasn't out of his mouth 10 minutes later, he jumps up and walks out of the door. The hallways were mostly empty. While he is passing different classrooms he takes a look in every single one of them. He doesn't want to think that he is only doing it because he hopes to see Aria somewhere but when he reached the end of the hallway he feels the disappointment.

"Did you know that overthinking leads up to negative thoughts?" Her soft voice seems to fly down the stairs.

Ezra has to take some steps before he can see her. He felt like someone takes his breath away. She looks so beautiful and yet so broken. She is standing in front of the big window where everything began and somehow everything ended, her hazel eyes starring out into the world. Ezra looks around to make sure she surely talked to him, but besides him no one else was there. He takes the last few steps until he is standing next to her. For a few minutes they are both just standing there. Ezra would do anything just to know what she is thinking right now at that moment. Was she thinking about the last time both of them were standing here? When she broke up with him and after that he made the most stupidest decision in his life.

For a long time both of them just staring out of the window, in totally silence.

After 10 minutes Ezra finally turns his eyes away from the window and the world behind it. His eyes rest now on Arias face. Her eyes seem to be far away, out of reach. She looks so grown up with her hands resting relaxed on both sides of her body, her expression so closed. And her mouth to a straight line without hole body seems to shine classiness all over the place. Ezra has the feeling she doesn't even blink. She is wearing a black dress is tighter than usual and much more classic. It ends 2 inches over her knee and has a V -neck. She wears a plain silver bracelet on her right brachial joint with a silver heart on it.

As longer the silence was going on between them as much more nervous Ezra gots. He isn't even sure if she actually realizes he is standing next to her. Ezra hears his own sighs of relief clearly in his head when she finally turns to him and stars into his eyes. For a moment he couldn't tell what her eyes trying to tell him. They seemed so different then the lighting eyes he remembers so clearly.

"One of the risks of being quit is that the person next to you can fill your silence with their own interpretation." His hole skin starts to prickle when her voice sounding like a melody reaches him.

"Maybe they think you're shy, you're bored or you're depressed. You're judgmental. When others can't read you, they write their own story, not always one we choose." These words hit Ezra like a thunder. Aria was always smart but the things she is saying lately are all so thoughtful. It seems like every word she speaks, tells a story of his own. It sounds so beautiful, yet so sad.

"But does it matter what other people interpret?" Ezra asks, knowing exactly what her answer will be.

"Does it? It probably does, society is a trick and people fall for its games. Now all we care about is how we look and what people think of us. We are not strong, we are week. People try so hard just to fall into pieces." And another time Aria surprises him completely. This girl in front of him is so different then the one he saw 2 years ago. Her words so wise and yet so carefully.

And now the silence is back, is is not a uncomfortable silence. But Ezra feels the many question in the air. He holds his breath when Aria takes a tinny step closer to him. She has to look up at him and her eyes seem to shine.

"I forgave you for the things you have said, the lies you have told." Her voice whispers. "For the things you have done" Her voice breaks into silence and Ezra wants to step closer to her, but something in her eyes stops him. "But I'll never forgive you for the way you made me feel, for the way you broke me." Even he always knew she would never forgive him, to hear her say it hurts him more than he can possible describe.

"I always knew you hate me, I just never thought how much it hurts to actually hear it." Ezra decides to tell her the truth, how he feels. It's the only thing he has left.

Arias hole body seems to soften, she takes another step closer to him. He can feel her breath. "I don't hate you, I don't think I could ever hate you, a part of me will probably always love you, but I still hate what you did to me."

Before Ezra realizes what she is doing, he feels her lips on his cheek. She smiles sadly at him. "Goodbye Ezra" He hears her whisper. He clearly hears his heartbeat. Thinking back the last to times, they were standing exactly at that spot, she telling him exactly these words. Ezra feels Aria walking by his shoulder, ready to leaf. Normally he would turn around, grab her hand and kiss her. Everything would be fine for a moment before she softly pulls back and runs her hand through his hair. Ezra turns around, he clearly sees the change in Arias body. She knows exactly what is coming next. Her hole body was just waiting to turn around and feel his lips on hers. But he couldn't do it. It feels like his hand isn't a part of his body. He just couldn't bring him self to stop her. His eyes follow her down the stairs until she slows down and looks up at him. The disappointment in her eyes take his breath away. He should have kissed her, she wanted to, she expected him to. Why didn't he? The truth hits him, he couldn't because he never want to hurt her again.

Like Aria could read his mind she answers of his thoughts.

"I should not have fallen in love with you" She says sadly. "You took me to museums, theaters and parks. You kissed me in every beautiful place, so I could never go back to them without tasting you like blood in my mouth. You destroyed me in the most beautiful way possible. And when you left I finally understood why storms are named after people." Tears rolling down her cheeks but it doesn't care.

Ezra was speechless, he runs down the stairs and pulls her into a hug. He feels her head lining on his chest and her arms wrap around him. It feels like hours before she looks up again and wishes the tears away. Her eyes are swollen and her hole face seems broken.

"You could hurt me over and over again, and I would still take you back every single time." She smiles sadly and runs her fingers throw his hair. He knows, if he doesn't kiss her now, he won't get another chance. He leans down to her and his hole stomach flatters but before he could feel her lips her phone rings. She bits her lip and looks at him apologizing.

She pulls the phone out of her small handback and stars at the display. For a moment it seems like she shuts it out.

And all of a sudden she changes. She came back a completely different person. With a new mindset, a new outlook, a new soul. The girl that cared way to much, no longer cared at all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Guys, I'm so sorry I took a little longer this time. I had some finals but finally Christmas break! This chapter was really hard for me to write. I tried to make it not to sad but the truth is it is really hard for me right now. Sooo yeah I tried my best and at the end it kinda was sad again :O **

**Thank you so much for all the favs and follows it's incredible!**

**I would love you guys, If you would take 1 minute and give me a review at this point about what you want to happen and what I could do better because this chapter has a really breaking point so please help me and tell me what you think.**

**I picked songs which i think fit to the situation. If I use songs I will say the titel at the end of every chapter!**

**The next chapter is going to be a my christmas presten to you. I can't say when it will be done but it will be much longer than this one!**

**If it is after christmas I wanna say Merry Christmas to all of you! I hope you have a great Christmas and now enjoy :)**

Arias eyes are closed. Her honest and warm smile appears when she hears her own voice, singing to the familiar song. Her left hand rests easily at the top of the microphone, her right hand is in a fist, lying softly at the point where her heart beats.

_"And I know it ain't gonna be easy, no._

_But I'm a fighter and you can't take that from me, no_

_This is just a page in the chapter I'm in"_

All the tension she felt the last 2 days, since she had her last conversation with Ezra seem to disappear so easily. There is no broken heart, no lies and no goodbyes. Only her voice and the song.

_"And I'm still getting to the good part_

_The breaking down_

_Learning how to..."_

"Aria, Sweety" The voice of Mrs. Marin breaks through the song. The background music slowly becomes quiet and Aria opens her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You sound great but they want to start to work at the lights." Mrs. Marin smiles sweetly at her.

Aria feels the disappointment. She forces a smile back at her and steps back from the Microphone. She looks down the stage, searching for Hanna's blonde hair. She finally recognize her at the very end of the room. Aria almost has to laugh when she watches her friend, explaining two mans how to hang a big banner up with the golden letters "MERRY CHIRSTMAS" and correct them at everything they're doing without even do anything by herself. She just didn't change a bit.

Aria jumps down the stage and picks her jacket up from the chair next to her. Almost the same moment she feels her phone buzzing. She doesn't even has to look at the screen to know which name is lightning up. She hasn't answered Liam's calls since the night at the Grill. Mostly because she was in a _I don't care what is going on around me, listen to music all day and avoid other human beings_ phase was. Besides the Pizza boy. But already after 2 days Hanna run through her door and begged her to sing at the karaoke christmas party from her mom tonight. Aria could have said no but at the end Spencer, Hanna and Emily would have made her go anyways. So she could do something she loves even if it means she has to go to something she hates.

Aria sighs and rushes out of the crowded room. She thought of ignoring the call again but it wouldn't be fair. She sighs one time before she sleighs the answer button at her screen and puts the phone on her ear.

"Aria?" Liam asks concerned the moment she hold the phone on her ear.

"Yes?" She replays stupidly. Not sure what to say and hating herself for not answering the last few days. He is always so concerned about her and she just didn't answer because she didn't felt like it. What happens to her?

His voice is still alarmed but softer when he speaks again. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have gone to her Party...I just"

"It's really not your fault. I should be the one apologizing." Aria feels so ashamed. It wasn't like something happened between Ezra and her, but there might as well had. She just feels like she cheated at him.

The relief is clearly in his voice. "I'm just glade you're alive. Is everything okay?"

"I'm not sure if I can do this any longer, its just to much" She whispers. Trying to keep the tears back. All of a sudden she feels tired and exhausted.

"You don't have to do this, you know. You can always come back."

"But nothing is finished, I feel like I'm still in the middle of this. I'm not finished with it. It's so hard when I know I have changed and I come back looking at the old me. It's an awful feeling. I can't even pick up the pieces of my broken life. I'm just sitting on the floor surrounded by those pieces, just to destroy them more and more. I just realize how broken I really was and I'm so scared I'm going back to be this person " A single tear rolls down her cheek.

"I never gonna let this happen! And even if you think it's going to happen we still can give up on society and go live in a treehouse" He laughs and Aria has to smile. "Aria you're one of the strongest person I have ever met! And even you feel broken and crashed right now, I know what ever it is you will still come stronger out of it. I believe in you and so does everyone else" His soft voice make her feel so comfortable.

"Did I tell you I love you lately" Aria smiles

_Last call for flight B745 to..._ it comes from the other side of the phone. "I love you too" He says with a laugh in his voice

"Where are you?" Aria uses it to change the subject. She doesn't like to cry in front of other people and she she feels she does it to often lately.

"I'm at the airport on my way to New York. Look I explain everything later, I have to go. I'll call you when I landed." Aria couldn't figure out what it was in his voice but it made her nervous. It wasn't unusual for Liam to be at the airport. His family lives all over america and he goes visit them almost every week. It wasn't like his family couldn't effort it. But it wasn't normal he didn't tell her about it. Aria almost had to laugh when she realized that he tried to call her all the time, to tell her he will be probably gone when she is coming back and she wonders why she didn't know about it. Aria feels so pathetic. She listens a few more seconds at the silence of her phone before she puts it back into her jeans pocket.

* * *

><p>Aria sweeps with her shaking hand over the red dress. She pulls it a little deeper and views herself in the mirror. Hanna did a good job with her makeup. She didn't made a strong on. Full black eyeliner and a beautiful red for her lips make her look really classy and grown up.<p>

Aria never felt so nervous before she went on stage. The room is full of people but it still aren't as many people than her collage shows. But the difference is, everyone knows her here; they knew her. Most of the people saw her grow up, making mistakes, being bullied by A and see her leaving. This is her only chance to show them after all she is been through, she still isn't broken and she found what she was looking for.

Aria feels her heartbeat race when she lays her hand on the microphone and looks at the ground.

"This song is a really personal song for me. I hope you'll like it." She hears herself barely whisper. In the back of her mind she hears someone cheering. A smile appears on her face when she looks up and sees Hanna, Spencer and Emily in the front row, cheering and smiling."

When Aria hears the piano behind her, she closes her eyes trying to fade everything else out. Her red lips open automatically to the lyrics in her head. And the picture of his face in the back of her mind.

_"You think you know me, but you don't know me._

_You think you own me, but you can't control me._

_You look at me_

_and there is just one thing that you see_

_so listen to me."_

When the beat gets faster Aria opens her eyes and grapes for the microphone.

_"Listen to me_

_"You push me back, I'll push you back_

_Harder, Harder_

_You scream at me, I'll scream at you_

_Louder, Louder_

_I'm dangerous _

_I'm warning you_

_But you are not afraid of me and I can't convince you..._

_That you don't know me"_

Aria feels the rush through her hole body, when she sees all the people dancing, smiling, laughing and cheering to her song. And in the last corner he was. Standing there with his shoulder against the wall his left hand easy in his pockets and his face without any expression. Exactly like his face in her minds a few minutes ago but this time it's really him. Aria fixes her eyes at his, telling him every single word is for him and Ezra doesn't break it. He looks back at her, the hole time.

_"You think you got me, but you don't get me_

_You think you want me but you don't know what you're getting into_

_There is so much more to me than what you think you see._

_And the longer that you stay, the ice is melting and the pain it feels okay, it feels okay._

Ezra's expression doesn't change, he is just standing there, starring at her. For a moment Aria actually thinks she is just imagine him and he is not really there. But she knows not even her messed up mind could picture him that real. She looks one more moment at him before she breaks the eye contact and puts all her emotions in to the last few seconds she has on stage.

_You push me back, Ill push you back _

_Harder, Harder_

_You scream at me, I'll scream at you_

_Louder, Louder_

_I'm dangerous _

_I'm warning you_

_But you are not afraid of me and I can't convince you..._

_That you don't know me"_

Aria can't remember when she had such a big and real smile on her face while she is putting the microphone back and thanking the cheering people. When she is leaving the stage she tries to star at Ezra from the back of her eyes. He was still standing in the corner, looking at her. Ezra must have seen that she is also staring at him, he smiles at her and moves his lips as if he wants to say something. Aria wasn't quite sure if she saw it right but it almost seems like he said "You are right, I don't know you"

Aria rushes down the stairs of the stage. As soon as she is back on the floor a blonde girl almost jumps into her arms.

"You did amazing!" Hanna screams at her and hugs her another time.

"I had shiver all over my skin." Emily smiles and hugs her softly.

Spencer bumps into her and laughs. "I remembered you can sing, but I had no clue your voice is that incredible."

"Thank you guys, thats so sweet" Aria smiles at all of them.

"But the lyrics is a little bit..." Hanna starts, searching for the right words "Let's say, I hope you are not talking about us." She laughs to make it seem like a joke but Aria sees the concern in her eyes.

"Hanna!" Spencers outraged voice breaks through her laugh and she looks at her with an unreadable look. But when Aria looks at Hanna it seems like she did understand what at meant.

"Whats going on?" Aria looks at all 3 of them.

"It's nothing, we just..err" Spencer starts

"We just didn't want that Hanna makes you speak about it. But after the middle of the performance we all knew it was about Ezra. We just thought you probably don't want to talk about it. Especially not here."

"Wait it was about Ezra?" Aria has to laugh when she sees into Hannas confused expression.

Aria smiles at the other two "Thank you Guys, that means a lot to me."

Both of them smile back at her. If Aria would have just paid a little more attention she would have seen the thankful look Spencer gave Emily but instead her attention was back at the corner, watching Ezra leave.

Aria feels a hand on her shoulder. "You should follow him."

"Do you think thats a good idea?" Aria looks unsure at Spencer.

"I think it may is your last chance." She pushes Aria softly.

Aria takes a step before she suddenly turn back around. "How did you find out?"

"We can talk about this later but you should know, I know we are loosing you and I hate there is nothing I can do, but he can. So if he is the only chance to keep you in our life, no matter how it ends, I'll risk it." Spencer hugs her tight before she pushes her gently into the crowd.

Arias legs automatically start to move. She switches through bodies, walks to the left and the right to pass the person in front of her. When she finally passed the crow she rushes to the the door and switches out of the room. She stops for a second when she views Ezra just a few feeds aways from her. He was standing really close to the exit. It seems like he waited for Aria. He doesn't move and should already be much wider. Aria feels how her stomach flatters when she thinks about the fact he was waiting for her but her smile fades when she realizes the phone on his ear. Aria know she shouldn't but couldn't help herself to listen.

"All I'm saying is, I hate that _what if_ feeling" Ezra leans his head back and runs his hand through his hair while he is listening to the answer.

"I grew up with you, I loved you, I laughed with you, I cried for you, I followed you, I fought for you, I believed in you and all the time you were never really there. And right now it just feels like the last time." His voice was so soft, lovely and sad at the same time. Aria is standing there, trying to make sense of what she just heard but there just wasn't one.

There is a long silence. Aria already considers to tell him she is here but suddenly he starts to giggle. "If it's still in your mind. It's worth taking the risk."

"Let's talk later, okay? I really wanna get out of this building before someone comes by and wants to talk." He turns around to look back to the door but instead he looks at Aria.

She crosses her legs and lifts her hand. "To late for that..."

"I really gotta go" He says a little bit to fast into the phone and puts it away but he doesn't even look one time away from her.

"Who was that?" Aria just can't hold her curiosity.

Ezra puts his hands behind his neck and looks closely at her. "You know, I get whiplash from your moods."

"Yeah I have that effect on people." Her eyes lightning up, challenging. Ezra lifts a eyebrow. Aria knows he isn't used to that kind of Aria.

"So, you sing?" He smiles

"Yeah.." She steps on her tip toes not sure where this is going.

"I didn't know you like singing."

"Well, I guess you just don't know me anymore." Aria just can't help herself.

He presses his lips together "Yeaah, I guess you are right. Maybe we can change that? When did you start it?"

"Oh please, don't pre tent like you actually care! Why are you here anyways?" She says it a little harsher than she actually want it. "I'm pretty sure even if you have changed you still don't like balls and Partys. Although that reminds me I didn't know you at all." Aria knows exactly she is going to far with this. But something in her mind just pushes her. She sees Ezras underestimates look. He clearly thinks about going on to her.

Aria thinks about it, is that what she wants? That he starts screaming at her. Would he even scream? He never got really on to her at a fight. And finally Aria realizes that is what she wants. She want to know all of his sides. Even the dark ones. She wants to figure out who he really is.

"I don't know" He answers carefully. "I think, I hoped you'd be here."

"So you came here only to see me and than planning to go home without talking to me?" Aria can't hide her smile

"I guess that was the plan." He grinned

"Some people would call that stalking you know." If Aria wouldn't smile, her voice would have sound really serious.

He sighs. "Why does it feel like we stuck in one conversation since days."

"Maybe because.." Aria runs her fingers through her hair "I have a million feelings, a thousand thoughts, a hundred memories from one person."

"I know that feeling." he smiles. "I love you one day, and I hate you the next." You're the person I think about when I wake up and when I go to sleep. One day you treat me like I'm the best person on planet earth, and the next you treat me like I'm nothing to you. You make me the happiest, yet the saddest person."

Arias skin tingles with every word he says. And before she realizes what she is doing, she pulls her hands around his neck and presses her lips against his. Her hole stomach flutters when he softly leans in to it.

Aria doesn't wanna break it. She just wanna stand there forever, his lips on hers, without the problems around them. Not thinking what is right and what is wrong. She doesn't even stop when the door opens and someone steps in. Ezra doesn't mind either and pulls her a little closer.

Aria pulls away when she feels watched. For the back of her eyes she sees a tall man, still standing at the door. Aria holds her breath when she realizes the blue, white checkered shirt, she bought 1 year ago. His brown undercut hair is disheveled, his blue/green eyes starring at her sadly. His mouth which normally always has a big smile on his face is now disappeared to a straight line.

Aria takes as many steps aways from Ezra as possible. She is looking disgusted at herself. She feels how her heart drops.

"Liam!" Her voice is broken, tears rolling down her face.

**Songs:**

**1. Road Between by Lucy Hale**

** don't know me by Elizabeth Gillies**

**For the ones who wonder who I picture as Liam it's Zac Efron looking like that:**

** /entry/152382523/search?context_type=search&context_user=MadameBelleRose&page=2&query=zac+efron**

**Please take a time for a short review :***


	5. Chapter 5 Let her go

**I'm so so so soooo sorry for updating so late! But I have so much going on lately I just had not the time for it. I know i said is going to be a lone one but i though you rather like a shorter one now than wait for the long one :O I somehow messed the beginning a little bit up. But I kind of love the second part though :) For every single review I get I will write one more paragraph in the next chapter.. I know I'm mean :O But I love you guys :***

**Chapter 5 Let her go**

Arias head is shifting to door and back. The door; Ezra. Ezra; the door. How is she suppose to make a decision. She feels Ezra's eyes lying heavily on her. Why doesn't he say anything? Aria just wishes he would say anything, anything to get her out of this silence. A thought is going through her mind and she feels how she is getting sick. What if Ezra wants her to choose. Right here, right now. She can't choose, can she?  
>It hits her when she realizes that she already did. Wasn't that the reason why she came here in the first place? She choosed California a long time ago, and everything that comes with it. But why does it feel so wrong?<p>

"You don't have to choose right now, you know" His soft voice fly's though her thoughts.  
>"True love, you just can't kill it." Ezra smiles at her confused. "What do you mean?"<br>Aria smiles careful "Don't you remember? You said that once.." He slowly shakes his head.  
>"There is nothing to choose?" She says. "You have been the one for me. Since the moment I met you, you always where the one."<br>Ezra smiles, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "Are you sure? I mean is this really what you want?"  
>"If I would go back to California with Liam, I surely would become happy. I really would. I know he would love me and care for me. But at the end of the day I always would miss something. We may don't look perfect to the outside. But it is important how it feels in the inside and the truth is I can't live without you. I tried to live without you so hard but seeing you, it just makes it impossible" Her voice breaks into silence and than she feels his strong hands craping for her wrist, pulling her in a warm hug.<p>

Aria doesn't know how long they are standing like this but at the end she pulls herself away and looks at him.  
>"I need to talk to Liam.." She breath heavily when she thinks about him.<br>"I know, he seems like a good person. Do you wanna go right now?"  
>"Yes." She pulls her jacket over her. "He deserves it." She blows a kiss on his cheek.<br>Before she opens the door Ezra calls her back. "Wait." He smiles and it seems like his smile reaches till his blue shiny eyes. "Are you coming over tonight."  
>Aria looks at him for a moment before she smiles back at him. "Yes" there is a little break. "Yes I will" She smiles bravely at him, much braver than she feels.<p>

**EZRAS POV**

Ezra feels how his smile grows while he is watching Aria disappearing in the dark. Even he always hoped it, he never thought he actually would get another chance with her. He is sure this time is going to work out. It has to work out. This is his last chance, their last chance. And he always knew, she is his forever.  
>His thoughts getting disturbed when his phone starts to buzz. He doesn't even have to look at the blinking display to know who it is.<br>Suddenly his smile disappears and he realizes he never told Aria. Not that he ever thought he has to. He was sure she will never forgive him and there was no reason to tell her. But if he would have known there was the smallest chance, he would never said yes.  
>Everything can still work out, though. He just has to tell her, before she hears it from someone else.<br>He answers the phone with a frustrated sigh.

"Hey" he soft voice comes through the speaker  
>There is a long break.<br>"Ezra, are you there" Her voice sounds know concerned.  
>"Aria is back" he quietly whispers.<br>There is a long break, whit a heavy breathing.  
>"Did you talk to her?" Her voice sounds broken and Ezra feels how his heart aches.<br>"Yes, I did." He doesn't wanna tell her, that he talked to her already a few times. If she would knew about it, it would break her heart.  
>"Did you tell her? I mean did you tell her about us?" she sounds so scared. But Ezra can't figure out if she is afraid of his reaction or Arias.<br>"No. I couldn't" It wasn't necessary the truth, he surely could have tell her but he just never thought about it when he was with Aria. He doesn't think of anything else then her when she is with him.  
>And now the silence is back. He hates it but he can't find the words to convert her.<p>

"Please, tell me what happened!"  
>For a moment he thinks about lying to her, telling her they were just talking. But she would know, she would know he is laying.<br>"We kissed" was all he brings out.  
>There was just a little break before she answers him. "and than?" she doesn't sound surprised but hurt.<br>He clears his clears his voice "Liam, her boyfriend run into us. But she told me she wants to break up with him." He takes a long breath "Actually she is doing right now"  
>The first time they were talking her voice is racing "AND YOU LET HER DO THAT?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"<br>"I love her. I told you this all the time. I told you I will always love her." He knows it isn't fair telling her that. He loves her too but just not like Aria. Their love was easy, they could talk and laugh together. It feels good when they are together. But Arias and his love is pure. The may fight a lot, they both did things they are not proud of. They challenge each other. They make each other a better person. There is this fire, burning.  
>"Don't you think I know that? Of course I know it. But did you even think once about all of this? It'll never work out."<br>"How would you know this?"  
>"Isn't it obvious? She left you because of the book and the lies. She forgave you for it, but you never told her about us! What do you think is going to happen if you tell her? She will give up everything for you and than she will just stand in front of another lie. Both of you are chasing after was you used to have, but do you really think you can have that back? I know she loves you more than anyone but just because you are her one true love doesn't mean you are mean to be together."<br>Ezra feels like his heart is stop beating. "But she told me she tried to live without you, but it is impossible" He breaths heavily. Trying to hold on, on her words she just said a few minutes ago.  
>"Yes because she knows you still love her."<br>"What is that suppose to mean?!"  
>"It means that she always had in the back of her mind that if she want to get back to you, she just has to tell you. But if you show her that you are going to stop trying. That you are drifting. That you moved on and let her go.."<br>"But why would I tell her that?" Ezra snaps on her.  
>"If you make her believe in those things her memories are going to start to fade. You are going to be the person she KNEW. She has a chance to become happy. Maybe not as happy than with you but instead of a few months, she will get a forever."<br>"All you say" he says slowly "seems to make so much sense. But love doesn't make sense. We are mean to be and this is my.. this is our last chance. No one is going to change that."  
>He heres her sigh. "Let her go.." Than there was the end of the call. Ezra slowly brings the phone from his ear. He was sure, she was just trying to mess with his head. This is how it is suppose to be.<p>

xxxxxxx

**Aria POV**

Aria's hole body feels suddenly so light. Her heart seems to race. For the first time in days she feels like she has a plan. Finally she did the right decision. Her hole mind is going crazy. She can't decide if she wants to think about the kiss they just had or about what they will do later this night. Her hand automatically goes over her lips, which a few minutes Ezra's lips covered hers. It almost feels as if it didn't happen, but it did and so did the appearance of Liam. She suddenly comes to a hold. She was running around in the dark without any idea where he could be. If there is anything she has to do right now, than it is to talk to him. Liam was the most honest person she has ever met. Somehow she wishes she could change her own mind. If this would be a fairytale, she is sure Liam would be the prince and Ezra would be the bad guy. It was suppose to be Liam, so why does her heart choose Ezra?  
>Deep down in her something whispers <em>because he is the one <em>and as much as she wishes it wouldn't be him, it is. And she can't change it. At least not anymore.  
>And there he was. At the end of the street under the big three next to Alison's house. She probably would not have seen him if he would not sit in the light of the street light. He was jus sitting there, at the sidewalk, starring into the darkness. It hits Aria when she realizes this looks almost like the scene when she met him the first time.<br>Aria sits quietly next to Liam. He looks at her carefully. "I was just thinking about the first time we met" he says sadly. Aria nods "Yes me too." And together they star into the night.

_(Aria puts carefully one step and than another. She has her hand straight up to hold her balance. She has a big grin on her smile. It is the first time she was drinking again, since what happened the last time with Emily. She didn't mean to but going to the first College party with all the drunk strangers around her, maid her drink again. And right now she is enjoying it. Her hole mind feel so like, also she has the big urgent to sing. The street in front of her is all empty. She doesn't even quit know where she is, she is just hopping she is walking in to the direction of her room. Aria giggles lie a little child when she runs to a little tree next to the sidewalk, the idea was to crap the thin tree trunk and spin around but somehow she trips and falls to the ground. And than she is laying there and starts laughing. For the first time in forever she is really laughing again. And than she starts coughing really bad. This is when she hears Liam's voice the first time. "Having trouble breathing?" Aria abruptly sits __awkwardly up, looking into his green/blue shiny eyes. Aria sees a little bit concern in them but there is a big smile. He is sitting on the sidewalk 5 frets away from her. "Are you going to talk to me?" he laughs and Aria realizes she must have stared at him longer than she thought. Man, the alcohol is really getting to her. "No, no" The words fly out of her mouth without thinking. "Don't you know how girls flirt?" She looks at him accusing. He starts laughing just a little bit more but Aria doesn't give him the time to answer. "We sneak glimpses of you, so we won't get caught staring, but'll notice it anyway. We are going to wait for you to start a conversation." Aria laughs "This was your mistake! But if you would have started one I won't ever stop talking to you. And than I would hit you playfully" She smirks "And than I would probably be mean to you because it is easier to be mean than to let you actually in." She stars into his eyes and starts laughing. "If you were a tree..." he starts "you would be a good tree." Aria looks at him confused "What was that? How did our conversation end up being about trees? Am I that drunk?" "Well, yes you are. But that was me __flirting" For a moment Aria thought he was serious but that he break out into laughters. "I seriously hope your flirting skills are better than that.!" She laughs and hits him playful on his shoulder. "well, I could try another one!" Aria nods enthusiastically. He looks thoughtful up into the sky and smiles. "You're ready? OK! On a scale from 1 to 10 you are a 9. I'm the 1 you need!"  
>"Wait what? NO WAY I'M A 10!"<em>

Aria smiles. "I can't believe you decided to put up with me after this night."  
>Liam laughs "I must have had a really big crush on you."<br>"Liam.." She whispers carefully.  
>He gives her a small smile. "It is okay. Sometimes people lose feelings for all sorts of reasons, but I will survive."<br>Aria craps her hands around her legs and lays her had against is shoulder. "I love you,, It.."  
>"You just don't love me enough" he interrupts her sadly. "I always knew you still love him."<br>"I really wish it would be you" A single tear rolls down her face. "I really thought you were suppose to be my happy ending. But seeing him."  
>He softly stokes a lock of hair out of her face and behind her ear. "You and I were probably never meant to be, but I loved every single second that I spent with you"<br>Aria sniffles "Are you going to hate me now?" Her heart almost jumps out of her when a big smile appears on his face. "Aria, I could never hate you. And as much I hope he will never hurt you, if he does you can always come to me. I'll be there for you until the end."  
>"I really did love you!"<br>"I know!"  
>She doesn't wanna ask him but she really needs to know "But how come you are not angry at me?"<br>He hesitates for a moment. "I'm.. No I mean I was. A few months ago, you said his name while you were sleeping. It really didn't bother me until it happened over and over again. I guess I already realized at that point I lost you, I just didn't want it to be real."  
>"Liam! I'm so sorry" Aria is just staring at him. She can't believe this is the boy she lets down.<br>"I know you are" he blows a kiss on her forehead and she closes her eyes, leaning into it. And for just a second the world stop turning. There was just him and her. There is something deep down inside her that doesn't want to move on from him. She just wishes soon that when she hears his name, it doesn't bother her at all, but she knows it is not going to happen anytime soon.  
>"It is not fair" she whispers.<br>His smile deepens. "I knew I loved you when I mad excuses for the way you hurt me. I will never really give up on you. Not really. I always hope. I just wish I asked you sooner. We may could have forever" Arias hands are shaking.  
>"What do you mean? Asked you sooner?"<br>Liam takes a deep breath. "I came here to ask you if you want to marry me." And he pulls a little box out of his pocket.

**If you guys would give me just 3 reviews about what you want to happen I would love you forever**


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